I've seemed to lately notice...

I always think back to last year, when I had first started dating Paul and how many changes he's brought into my life.. and how clueless I was to what my future had in store for me.

Around Spring of last year, Paul and I had just started dating.
Paul ended up being the most perfect person in the world for me, and i really never would have guessed it when we first met. Infact, after our first date I remember telling Rob that I didn't see it happening between Paul & I because he's just "too quiet"! Rob convinced me to give him another chance because he said that paul was "really cool", so I listened and after Paul openned up to me I realized exactly what Rob meant.
I really did find my true love, I can't imagine being with anyone who is so intune to the things I would want in a relationship, someone who can make me laugh as much, or someone who can make me feel so comfortable to be completely myself around-- good traits and bad traits... there's no hiding between us. Now, I can't imagine being without him.

After I found out I was pregnant, my entire mentality changed. I grew up 20 years the minute the little pregnancy test showed up with a "+" sign. The only thing I think about is grown up things and day dreaming about taking care of my new family. This is so different from my former mentality where my main concern was which parties to attend, deciding if I should wear my hair curly, straight or wavy, or dressing cute in high heels and taking lots of pictures. (I'm sure I'll miss this worry-free life once my baby arrives!)

I've always been told that God never gives you what you can't handle, and i can't help but think that this was all apart of some unexpectedly wonderful plan. Marriage and babies were far from our minds, but as soon as we found out that I was carrying Paul's baby everything fell into place. I know it's going to be a bumpy road ahead, but I'm so excited to see our family come together.

I love both my babies :)

I CANT WAIT ANYMORE

Today one of my co-workers brought in pictures of her 2 month old baby, and i was so excited to see them! I used to never care about baby pictures, but now that I'm about to have my own I'm so excited to look at little babies and their growing progress. I'm so jealous, I want to meet mine now!

Honestly, pre-baby-in-tummy, I didn't really like babies. (I know, I'm a monster.) I liked babies when they are over 1 years old, but those newbies... what do you do with them??? They are all squishy and wrinkly, and I don't know how to make funny faces... babies always cry when I try to make one =/ Plus, they get all squirmy after I hold them for awhile... what do i do with them now!?! I'm really really good at cudling but what if my baby doesn't like to cuddle!?!! THEN WHAT WILL I DO THEN!?!

Someone give me tips, what if my newbie baby thinks I'm boring!?!! I love my baby sooooooooo much but I don't want her to think she has a boring mommy.. I think I need to observe a mother and newbz play together and pick up tips.... Any mommy volunteers?

i wonder...

i wonder if the baby goes through the same emotions as me....
I've heard that babies heart rate will rise/fall with whatever emotion I'm feeling: sad, happy, excited, scared.

I hope she doesn't get sad when I get sad, it'll make me feel guilty.

I love you little baby! Don't be sad ever, even if mommy is an emotional rollercoaster!!!!

Baby is a girl =)

My motherly insticts were so off! I was so convinced that the little baby would be a boy, but it's a girl and I couldn't be more excited =)
Paul says he'll worry about her a lot when she grows up, but we are both so in love already!

It feels so real now, knowing that there is an actual little baby girl in my tummy.. so crazy! I'm so excited & scared at the same time.

I hope to be the kind of mother who teaches her daughter to do great things, I hope my daughter picks up all my great habits and leaves my bad habits behind, I hope to be the kind of mother that is able to teach my child not only to be beautiful but be intelligent and strong too. (I also hope that she doesn't pick up the bad habit of partying and clubbing that I had =X )

I'm so excited, Paul and I have been looking for pretty K names, which has been a bit troublesome. Pretty k names that haven't already been used by other family members is hard to come by =(


My tummy is getting nice and fat which makes me a little bit sad because I'm slowly growing out of the REALLY CUTE "maternity" clothes I bought 2 months ago... but I guess it's bitter sweet because that means my little sweetie is growing up to be a lovely little size. (Don't hurt mommy when you come out!)

Also.. I'm officially retiring the name ziggy because ziggy is a boy's name! Don't call her ziggy anymore!!!!!

Until next time..adieu adieu =)